Dole.

So after the tears of rejection, the bitterness of a gap year, and the denial by writing (irrelevantly) about Derren Brown I'm finally manning up.

I'm not really one to dwell much; usually I forget that I'm supposed to be angry about ABC or that I'm ignoring DEF. I think it's kind of, well... childish?

Generally, I'd much rather get on with my life and things that are important, than cry over spilt milk. So, for now, that involves revising for my exams (dull) and lookin for jobs (frustrating) and then applying for afore mentioned job (cumbersome) by writing an interesting and potentially career-securing statement (hand-aching).

Essentially, life isn't allowed to be interesting or exciting for the next few weeks as I spend all my time perusing the NHS careers website or the local council's job vacancy page. The most exciting thing to recently happen has been a sudden acquisition of books, which unfortunately I don't currently have time to read. Among them, a book on Mental Diseases written in 1898 and a fabulous book of quotations, collaborated by the producers of QI (possibly my favourite thing ever shown on television).

So, as an excuse to read I'll be peppering this with quotations. Hopefully philosophers regularly mention the dwindling job opportunities in the NHS.

Options

My biggest worry is what universities want from a gap year. It's mostly about proving your commitment and medical interest, which is easier said than done. Whilst at school, universities can't expect students to have committed more than a few hours a week volunteering, or maybe a week or two work experience placement. But a whole year to play with? That's a lot of potential.

Half our time is spent trying to do something with the time we have rushed through life trying to save - Will Rogers

The common preconception is that gap year students go travelling. Backpack. One way ticket. Hostels. Bar work. Diphtheria. You get the picture.

Which would be perfect, except travel requires money. And money is gained through work. So, work, save, leave, right? Well, apparently nothing is hated more by application reviewers than 'I'm planning on doing this...' or 'I'm hoping to do that...' They want concrete evidence. Preferably you've already done it. Or you're submitting your statement whilst trekking through the Borneo jungle. Or at the very least booked a plane ticket.

Which is difficult, when the application is written over the summer, directly after leaving college when nobody's had a chance to make any money yet... Ah.

And on a practical note, medical interviews can range from November through to April time, with very little warning. Meaning being abroad risks a last-minute trip home for an interview. Nightmare.

Sooner or later we must realise there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip - Robert J. Hastings

Another option is work placements abroad; there's plenty of fabulous opportunities to work in schools and hospitals all across the world and reflect/contrast with the magnificant yet underappreciated institution we call the NHS. But these all cost money. Big money.

One company emailed me to ask if I was interested in their 'Gap Year Medics' scheme which sends prospective medical students to hospitals in India, Tanzania or the Caribbean islands for work experience. Places start at £990 for two weeks in India up to £2490 for four weeks in the Caribbean. Sounds like very expensive volunteering to me.

As somebody interested in Medical Anthropology (watch any of these and you'll see why) I can see the benefits of excursions like this. But unfortunately, not all of us can afford it.

You don't seem to realise that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich man who is unhappy , because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help. - Jean Kerr

So the only other really feasible option seems to be working. Obviously a health-related job is ideal; medical schools want students who have at least tried to understand what life as a doctor consists of.

Health jobs seem to be difficult to find - obviously many, many careers require degree-level education so they are scored out. Others accept non-qualified candidates on the condition that the relevant qualification is studied for after joining (Dental Nurses work this way for example.) Clearly most gap year students don't have the time available to commit to this.

Not everything is ruled out; common jobs for 'non-qualified' people tend to include Nursing Auxiliaries, Health Care Assistants, Phlebotomists and various technician/assistant/ward bitch roles. The other big employer tends to be care homes for care assistants and NA's.

Personally, I've developed an affinity for working with SEN children so I've also been looking into Teaching Assistant work in Special Needs schools. It appears now that jobs many people think of as 'unqualified' actually can now be studied for e.g. Teaching Assistants. And for everything else experience is nearly always essential, at the very least listed as 'desirable'. 

Coupled with the factors of high numbers of unemployed graduates, NHS job cuts, increased numbers of under-18s studying NVQs and increased numbers of prospective medics taking gap years means application is looking bleak. Nearly everything I've applied for I've barely been qualified to do, and if so, experience (which is impossible for me to have) is highly desirable.

Full time healthcare employment would be ideal for me, not only for the extra income and kudos on my statement but simply I feel so motivated and energised all the time, I couldn't cope with working part-time in a retail-type role and sitting on my ass for the rest of my week.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity - Dorothy Parker.

And if I can't find a job..?

I'll work unpaid. And take extra hours in my retail job. And fill the rest of my time with nourishing, interesting, stimulating things. Like reading and writing and exercising.

One could even argue that unpaid work would be more appealing to an admissions tutor that being paid for it. But they would probably be the ones who are going to the Caribbean for work experience.

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age - Gloria Pitzer

When I was a young man I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. I didn't want to be a failure, so I did ten times more work - George Bernard Shaw

* And if you do have any exciting and unique ideas for spending a gap year I'd be interested to know; not to steal them off of you but I do enjoy hearing good ideas
** The title of this blog is a pun. Before you ask.