Sunday 20 May 2012

Pocahontas.

Wow. To be honest, I'm a little gutted that I haven't kept things as frequent as I'd like. Never mind.


Right now, I'm mostly in shock at how quickly this year has gone (it's going to take a very long time for me to refer to a year as anything other than a school year). Kids at school are freaking out over exams, friends at Uni are excited to be finishing up their first year, I'm beginning to realise just how few weeks I have left to be called 'Miss'. Mental.


Working in a school is equally good and bad for time management - on the plus side, a six-week term structure helps to keep everything focused and avoids burning out, the negative of that is how everything seems to go by so quickly. My last post was in Easter half term; the next half term is two weeks away. It's unnerving to live your life in six week stints, sometimes even less, with the guarantee of at least one week's holiday in between. I am worried at the moment though - the last two weeks of this term are jam-packed with exams (I love feeling busy, but know it makes time zoom by) and then next term is only five weeks long. Five short weeks until I leave, and even then the last term of school is always a doss - trips day, sports day, immersion day, bank holidays. You name it, we take it as a break.


And then the summer holidays kick in - I'm very excited for the time off, excited to make the most of time spent with friends, yet wary of the goodbyes at the end of it. 


I haven't quite decided whether moving to Southampton feels really close or impossible far away at the moment. I don't think I'm genuinely excited yet; I can distract myself with other things that are going on and not having a confirmed address makes it easier to forget. Yet I'm excited for Ibiza, just two weeks before I move in. Don't get me wrong; I'm genuinely thrilled to be going to University, if I'm honest with myself, I think I'm beginning to feel a little daunted at just how much of a change everything will  be: what if I don't like my flatmates? What if it's too difficult? What if I stress too much and can't cope?


I know deep down that I'll be just fine - I've spent this year developing interests outside of studying/working and really focused on my ability to manage time and money. I'm prepared in a way that so many others aren't - not only did I receive my offer relatively early, but I can purely focus on University without the distraction of exams. An extra year out, whilst enormously beneficial, has made me even more determined and passionate about my career and really whetted my appetite for how things will be in the future, as well as given me the time to prepare both mentally and financially.


I think more than anything, I've enjoyed having the opportunity to direct my energy into something that isn't study-related; I've developed a real passion for fitness and exercise and I really want to continue this at Soton. I'd love to join a sports team - which would never have been high on my to-do list before (although mum still finds this prospect hilarious! Rude.). I've been able to spend more time with my friends and family and working out who I am; what patterns suit me, what stresses me out, my strengths and weaknesses. I know that I'm going to have to hit the ground running; develop a schedule which pushes me to achieve and enjoy inside and out of the lecture theatre, without experiencing meltdown before Christmas.


All in all, I would sum up my gap year as being a worthwhile experience whilst it lasted. I'm not going to pretend to anybody that I would happily sack off Uni and live the rest of my life like this; cramming my time with non-essential essential appointments at the gym, the pub and part-time work. I've loved the experiences I've gained, and I consider myself lucky with the way that things have panned out. The straightest path isn't always the surest.

Sunday 15 April 2012

Poo-gate.

Everything is getting too exciting!


The deadline date brought no surprises: rejections from both Leeds and Cardiff, although Cardiff did send me a lovely letter asking if I'd like to be on the waiting list as there were too many good applicants to offer everybody a place. Which was kind of nice.


Of course I firmed Southampton. I've sent in all my documents, health questionnaires and exam certificates. I've applied to Student Finance. And then last week I applied for accommodation.


The application is actually quite straight-forward: you have a series of drop-down boxes to choose from, which generally lead you to either one specific hall, or a choice of two. The Halls are spread out across the city, so choosing is a bit of a pain in the arse. I've read somewhere that 60% of students get their first preference, and of those that don't, 90% get their second preference. Which suits me fine.


Catered or non-catered?


To be honest, I'd never even considered being catered before attending the Open Day. At Southampton, this includes a breakfast and evening meal (with dessert!) Monday - Friday and brunch at the weekends and costs roughly £30 - £40 compared to self-catered students. 


The main draw for me is the removal of all catering stress: no compiling shopping lists, working out when and how to get to the supermarket. No time spent cooking and cleaning or waiting for the hob to be free. No stressing that somebody else has nicked your organic, hand-grown goji berries. Just a quick trip to the dining room (you can also get your food to take-out too).


Personally, I know that I'm going to stress about the cost of food and half-starve myself in an effort to save pennies, so at least this way mother knows that I'll be eating healthily (well, twice a day, five days a week).


As a budget-savvy student I'm already determined to regularly procure a croissant or two from breakfast as a free lunch/mid-lecture snack. And there's dessert on offer each evening. Count me in.


Standard, enhanced, en-suite or premium?


This caused me the biggest headache.


Standard rooms are cheap as chips (around £75 per week) yet residents could be sharing a kitchen and bathroom with between eight and twenty others. Okay, so it's not just one toilet but even so... 


Enhanced rooms, whilst slightly more expensive, have shared facilities between seven people. To be honest, this doesn't sound too bad on first reading and then I thought about it. Seven people needing to use the shower before a lecture, brush their teeth etc. Not even seven people you know (this could be literally anyone) what if it's a flat full of grubby, dirty lads? What if they make jokes about the smell of your poo? What if somebody (or me) has a particularly heavy night out and is sick everywhere? Or pees in the sink?


I did look into being enhanced, honest. I browsed through a few forum threads, weighing up the pros and cons between sharing (saves you around £30) or having an en suite. Lots of people had experiences from either side but one post in particularly cemented the deal:


"Worst I've seen is people not flushing, and some people leave the shower in a nasty state (grit, hairs, etc). 

I live in a flat of 6. In 2 weeks I might have to wipe the seat of the loo or flush it for someone else maybe 2/3 times, clean a proper mess in the shower once, remove hairs that aren't my own from the plughole 2/3 times. That's a maximum of 8 unpleasant bathroom related tasks for an £80 saving. £10+ per bathroom task. I would take up a part time job cleaning other people's bathrooms if the pay was that good. "

This came directly below a post entitled 'one of my flatmates has pooed in the shower'. I do not want to flush somebody else's faeces, pick out their hairs or be forced to wear flip flops in the shower. And hell-to-the-no am I cleaning poo out of the plughole. The author of the above post might seem quite unperturbed by this bathroom mess but that makes me more suspicious of people's standards of 'hygiene'. Own shower and toilet? Yes please.

*I haven't really mentioned Premium, because I haven't really looked into it. Essentially, you get a big bed and more space. Not really worth it unless you're planning to be boshing on the regs.

The next stage tends to be the boring bits of contract length (Easter or no-Easter, I'll go home and chill, thanks), mixed or single-sex (tough one, but girls tend to do my tits in more than boys) and then choice of complex (if you even get a choice).

I think now I just wait until June, when I get my address (exciting stuff!). If I'm honest, this whole 'waiting thing' is wearing a bit thin now. There's only so much Jesters-build-up that I can take.






Wednesday 21 March 2012

MedWay.

It wouldn't necessarily be a lie to say I've been too busy this last month to blog.


Working short days, on a two week timetable, makes time go impossibly quickly. The benefit of working in a school is there's only ever six or seven weeks until the next break; I see some teachers once per fortnight, that's just three times in a term.


As a result, things that are put down to 'I'll do that tomorrow' can take two weeks to finish off. For example, Elishia's coat is currently slung over my bedpost from three weeks ago. We'll be back to Winter by the time she gets it at this rate.


Equally, the 'final' date for University decisions has been creeping up on me and I really need to start organising accomodation for September. Speaking of final dates - the very last decision date is 31st March, and I still haven't heard a thing from Leeds. You are poo Leeds, if you're listening...


However, one thing I have managed to put into place this month has been the Medics group at Ridgeway, something I've been keen to do before I even had the job. I've been working with a group of Year 12's who wanted to put something together on a regular basis and now we have a selection of Year 10, 11, 12 and myself (which makes me feel a little bit like an old person trying to be down wid da kidz).


To start with, it was a horrible, horrible mess to be frank. Organisation was poor and the tension was so thick I had to wear my wellies. Now everyone seems a bit more settled and chatty - which also means I don't have to plan quite so rigidly, to fill the gaps of silence. These 'plans' consist mostly of Post It notes and asking 'so what did you think of last weeks session?' We even have an edgy, Uni-esque name: MedWay. Which was way better than RidgeMed or any of my rubbish suggestions. So far we've looked at extra-curricular activities and how important they are (seeing as I had nothing on my entrance to New College and had to cram everything in) as well as touching on the usual stuff around entrance requirements, A Levels, work experience etc etc.


I've made some pretty cool resources (for the benefit of next year's group, rather than my own) but unfortunately I've left them all on my school laptop -  it even has a sticker saying 'Miss Hilton'. Maybe I'll dig it all out at some point.


Anyway, it's providing me with a little bit of Uni discussion to get me through until September, which really isn't that far away... We booked tickets for Reading Festival last week - which will be literally weeks before my move-in date. That is scary. No more Foxies pub quiz. No more long, unstructured evenings. No more 3.15 finishes. And no more Leslie. God, I'm going to miss that blue, rickety flowermobile. 



Saturday 25 February 2012

Pumped.

As much as I love talking about Unis, sometimes it can sound a bit, well, tedious.


*For the record, I have an offer from Hull. I'm not going to accept it. End of.


So instead I thought I'd muse a little on some of the things I've learnt by taking this gap year.


1. I will make a snobby student.


Perhaps I would've fitted in more at Oxford that I'd permit myself to think; I am going to be a complete snob. The thought of sharing a bathroom with other people (up to twenty!) turns my stomach although I think that, other than 'LADs', most people would agree but I'm even struggling to cope with the idea of sharing with seven strangers. So en suite it is for me. 


I've looked through my student cookbook and made a list of the things I'd like at Uni, including balsamic vinegar, prawns, salad and fresh fruit. Beans on toast just does not cut it.


My weekly shop, dahling.



2. People will always live within their means


Back in the days when I sold kitchens at da HB-massive I split my wages between savings and 'spendings'. Bearing in mind I was earning considerably less than I do now, I don't really remember ever feeling 'skint' or running out of money. Now, I give myself a generous monthly allowance (not including petrol, mobile phone bill, gym bill, any Uni-related spendings, car insurance or repairs!) and always spend it all. Down to literally the last penny. Adding up the amount I spend on food and drink (and believe me, I'm no gastronomist) is ridiculous: ASDA stripy strips, pints of cider black and McFlurrys are wiping me out. And that's before I add on manicures, packets of hair dye and other non-essential essentials.






3. I think I've caught autism from the kids I work with


Or rather, I think spending so much time with autistic children has made me over-aware of my own autistic-type traits. Now, whether in or out of work, I find myself using first-names before I speak to people, checking myself whenever I use metaphors or idioms and asking people 'do you understand what I mean?' I'm also hyper-aware of how much a creature of habit I can be; without my to-do lists, budget calculator and my filofax I would be lost. Without a schedule I completely fall apart. I'm hoping I'll be cured before my hospital placements kick in...






4. I am addicted to exercise


I cannot stress quite how obsessed I am with the gym. I can wax lyrical about the benefits of the gym all day long, pausing only for a sip of cherry flavoured, zero calorie,  ASDA price isotonic drink. As a target-driven person (read: neurotic) I've had to structure myself a plan for the gym, so that I actually have a well-rounded workout: 1 Zumba, 1 Spin, 1 Bodycombat and 2 runs. Even the running follows a carefully selected running programme, so that hopefully I can run 5km (without walking) by spring time, when it should be warm enough to run outside. The funny thing is, I don't feel that I've particularly lost weight/toned up yet I feel far more confident - like I have a sign that says 'I have been going to the gym! My CV system is tip-top!' Ultimately, it's more important to be fit (and able to walk up stairs without puffing!) than skinny.


Looking reem.




5. I'm not at all bitter about my gap year


Quite the opposite. This year out was probably the best option (which I avoided like the plague). I would recommend a working gap year to any Uni student, but particularly to Medics - the learning curve between last application and this has been immense, particularly for finding specific, grown-up examples for interview. Looking back, 'I worked really hard on an experiment last week' or 'I've learnt teamwork by helping out at a student club night', sounds childish compared to having actual experience of a working environment and (in my case) children, their parents, diagnoses etc.


Financially, the benefits have been enormous. Not only have I learnt how to budget properly, I should also have a comfortable nest egg in the bank by the time September rolls around. This means I've been able to choose the accomodation that I really want, rather than picking the cheapest. I've taken a stress away by knowing that although I'll try my best to budget with whatever funding I'm entitled to, there's backup cash available if I struggle, without having to ask my parents. Plus I can afford a new swanky laptop and some branded products. 


SmartPrice? Moi?



Tuesday 7 February 2012

Tourist.

Friday was my Offer Visit Day, my first taste of Southampton. Apart from catching a ferry and a cruise ship, but I'm not holding too much importance to the state of the docks... And if I'm honest, it was incredible.


Firstly, the Highfield Campus is fairly easy to get to (by car anyway) and if I'm honest, location has always been a factor in my decisions. Yes, I know I applied to Hull and Leeds which are bloody ages away and a pig to get to but I still think it's important. Don't get me wrong; I'm not clinging on to Mummy's apron strings and I'm not planning on using home as a launderette, but I do think it's important to at least have access to home. I want to be able to come back for somebody's birthday or Mothers' Day, I want to meet Dad at Reading to watch the rugby, I want to know I can make it back if something happens. Plus, living in Hull would require a full-day's travelling. That's a day home and a day back. In Southampton I can (in theory at least) come home on a Wednesday afternoon and be back for lectures Thursday morning. 


The campus is lovely too - really village-y with a relaxed, safe vibe. The hospital (where students are based) is a 20 minute walk, and most of the accommodation is within 10 minutes of the campus (you have a bus pass included within your rent so at least transport is sorted). There's all the usual things you'd expect (bar, pub, library etc) and next door is a really pretty common (always good to have a sunny spot to sleep in around exam time).


The course is pretty fab too: most teaching is at the hospital, so lots of clinical experience and also getting used to being in a hospital, where most of us are going to spend the majority of our lives. Southampton are hugely focused on research (they're part of the Russell Group) and the fourth year of the course is mostly based around completing a BMedSci on a topic of your choosing - this means getting an extra degree in the same amount of time. (You can also intercalate, which would give you three degrees. Greedy pig.)


The only downside is that Southampton practice prossection rather than dissection. Essentially, in dissection you do it yourself, prossection somebody that knows their way around a scalpel gets to do it. Initially, I was really keen on dissection, but the more I think about it, it seem like a novelty and a lot of time is dedicated to the dissection room (presumably this is where Soton find the time to squeeze in another degree.) Anyway, at Soton in your third year you are essentially given a free pass to the hospital - so as long as you ask somebody first, you can turn up wherever and just lend a helping hand. Personally, I would like to spend some time in the mortuary, at least getting some experience of dissection via post mortems and other gory going-ons...


Very lastly, Student Life. We had a Q&A session with current medical students and unsurprisingly the question of 'where to drink?' came up. The students all suggested 'Jesters', with the ominous warning to 'leave your nice clothes at home. Buy a pair of shoes from Primark and just hope it doesn't soak through.' Obviously, we all laughed. And then I googled Jesters and found this:


"Widely regarded as the scummiest licenced establishment in the South, if not the whole of the UK, and largely resembles a large 'bucket' of alcohol, vomit and faeces in which drinkers 'swim' around in (bring wellies), usually naked to boot (on Wednesdays, mandatory for sports teams).

Beware of snakebite ripcurrents, usually located in and around the dancefloor. If you manage to walk in and avoid having various drinks (this term is used rather broadly, since most of them can usually be found to have bits floating in them) spilled over you by vast numbers of drunken Jesterers, consider yourself very, very lucky."

On the plus side, pints of lager are 50p and Snakebite the fact they advertise Snakebite says something are just 80p. Bring on Freshers!

A warm welcome awaits

Monday 30 January 2012

Relief.

I'm going to be a freakin' doctor. Dr Hilton. Interestingly, the name you qualify in is always your 'Dr' name. So if I marry I'll be Mrs Smith but Dr Hilton. Weird.


There's something very unnerving when you first see the email in your inbox. The sudden breathlessness, the tentative thrill of adrenaline; you force yourself not to become overexcited, to make the imminent rejection any more upsetting than necessary.


Anybody who has had an offer or rejection from Track will know exactly what I mean - the email is unambiguous with it's 'something has changed' message. Obviously, checking straight away is irresistable.


I was part-way through tucking into my cheese-n-crackers lunch at school when I opened up Track. And this is what I found:




Subsequently, I burst into tears. Happy tears of course, with a slightly muffled 'I've just got into University' for the benefit of the other LSAs in our staff room. I'm pleased for myself, despite the news not really having sunk in yet. To me this feels like 18 months worth of stress and hard work and real desperation has paid off. I suppose there's also the slightly ego-stroking idea that somebody, somewhere thinks that I have real promise to be a doctor and let loose on patients. Right now, I'm still mostly awe-struck. I'm going to University. I'm leaving home. I'm going to have to be all student-y and eat beans on toast and complain about being poor and get drunk on White Lightening. Maybe I'll buy a bicycle.


Everybody has been impossibly pleased for me, which is weird when you consider how normal getting a Uni offer is to most people. Anyway, I don't have to compare myself to anybody else anymore; I think most people that know me recognise how hard I've worked and how difficult this whole thing has been. 48 people 'like' the fact that I'm going to be a doctor; make of that what you will.


Right now, I'm more excited for my Offer Day Visit on Friday - a proper opportunity to look around and get a feel for what it could be like to live in Southampton. I'm excited to speak to the medical students, look around the hospital and obvs check out my fellow First Year students. From past experience, I know that as a soon as I visit the place in person I'll be completely in love with it and desperate to live there... I'm so easily swung.


Of course, the boring, rational part of me is saying not to get too hooked on Soton - what if Cardiff come back with a 'yes'? The idea of having a ranking of favourites has completely gone out of the window - like a drunken Bushwhackers-visitor I'm happy to be fickle and go off with whoever should choose me. I'm sure I'd love Soton. I'm sure I'd love Cardiff. I'm sure I'll love anywhere with students halls and the chance to be a doctor. Well, in six years time, anyway and with £100, 000 debt.


Uni people might notice my offer is listed as 'Conditional', despite having my grades already. This is because my place is conditional on passing the health screening and CRB check. So as long as I haven't lied about my grades, committed a crime or caught some life-threatening blood disease I should be A-OK.

Tuesday 24 January 2012

Maldives.

Today was a bit of a rubbishy day. Although, to be fair to myself, I think I'm allowed one of those once in a while.

Generally, I like to think of myself as an optimist. Make the most of every opportunity etc. but I guess occasionally we all need to bathe in a little self-pity.

The common denominator in all of my micro-breakdowns is always University. This time last year my eczema went crazy from the stress of exams and looming gap year fears (it may even be to the day that Peninsula rejected me?) Edit: I checked and Peninsula rejected me on Jan 30th so not a bad guess. Right now I'm in the horrible no-mans land of waiting, waiting, waiting. I'm not quite sure how I would react to an invite to interview from Leeds after all this baited breath for an offer. Maybe it would feel a little like when the 12oz steak you've ordered in a restaurant has shrivelled away to a measly beefburger after all that time spent cooking. Slightly disheartening and wishing you'd ordered something else.

Some applicant know-it-alls would probably say that 'patience is an essential quality for a doctor'. Bollocks. Just because they have a fancy degree, doesn't mean doctors aren't human; two years is quite enough patiently waiting for my liking.

But it isn't just University. Ironically, I was going to post yesterday about how fantastically amazing my job is at a local secondary school. Today I have changed my mind.

It's not even that I hate my job or my managers. I love my role. I actually rather like my line manager. I just find certain elements rather frustrating. When we talk about teamwork people tend to mention the time they all chipped in to a big presentation, or when we organised that big event for the charity fundraiser. I think we (or certainly I) forget the hardest, and most important, part of teamwork is just getting along day-to-day. The constant conflicts of opinion and (in my role, anyway) the daily battle for space pushes my team working skills to the limit everyday. You've heard the phrase 'every man is an island'? Well my island seems to be shrinking and shrinking like the Maldives until one day the sea is going to wash right over the top and all you can see is the tip of a palm tree. Bloody global warming.

But it's true - the struggle for space in our dinky little Orange Block is becoming ridiculous. It's not even that anybody is being greedy, or unfair, just that everyone is looking out for themselves and their particular role and what the kids in their care need. Currently, I feel like I'm on the losing team and that my kids are suffering for the benefit of others, yet they are all equally vulnerable and needy.

It's a difficult one. I don't want to become upset. Particularly not about work, which I genuinely love. But I do understand why school staff are given so much time off; we'd go mad without it.