Pocahontas.

Wow. To be honest, I'm a little gutted that I haven't kept things as frequent as I'd like. Never mind.


Right now, I'm mostly in shock at how quickly this year has gone (it's going to take a very long time for me to refer to a year as anything other than a school year). Kids at school are freaking out over exams, friends at Uni are excited to be finishing up their first year, I'm beginning to realise just how few weeks I have left to be called 'Miss'. Mental.


Working in a school is equally good and bad for time management - on the plus side, a six-week term structure helps to keep everything focused and avoids burning out, the negative of that is how everything seems to go by so quickly. My last post was in Easter half term; the next half term is two weeks away. It's unnerving to live your life in six week stints, sometimes even less, with the guarantee of at least one week's holiday in between. I am worried at the moment though - the last two weeks of this term are jam-packed with exams (I love feeling busy, but know it makes time zoom by) and then next term is only five weeks long. Five short weeks until I leave, and even then the last term of school is always a doss - trips day, sports day, immersion day, bank holidays. You name it, we take it as a break.


And then the summer holidays kick in - I'm very excited for the time off, excited to make the most of time spent with friends, yet wary of the goodbyes at the end of it. 


I haven't quite decided whether moving to Southampton feels really close or impossible far away at the moment. I don't think I'm genuinely excited yet; I can distract myself with other things that are going on and not having a confirmed address makes it easier to forget. Yet I'm excited for Ibiza, just two weeks before I move in. Don't get me wrong; I'm genuinely thrilled to be going to University, if I'm honest with myself, I think I'm beginning to feel a little daunted at just how much of a change everything will  be: what if I don't like my flatmates? What if it's too difficult? What if I stress too much and can't cope?


I know deep down that I'll be just fine - I've spent this year developing interests outside of studying/working and really focused on my ability to manage time and money. I'm prepared in a way that so many others aren't - not only did I receive my offer relatively early, but I can purely focus on University without the distraction of exams. An extra year out, whilst enormously beneficial, has made me even more determined and passionate about my career and really whetted my appetite for how things will be in the future, as well as given me the time to prepare both mentally and financially.


I think more than anything, I've enjoyed having the opportunity to direct my energy into something that isn't study-related; I've developed a real passion for fitness and exercise and I really want to continue this at Soton. I'd love to join a sports team - which would never have been high on my to-do list before (although mum still finds this prospect hilarious! Rude.). I've been able to spend more time with my friends and family and working out who I am; what patterns suit me, what stresses me out, my strengths and weaknesses. I know that I'm going to have to hit the ground running; develop a schedule which pushes me to achieve and enjoy inside and out of the lecture theatre, without experiencing meltdown before Christmas.


All in all, I would sum up my gap year as being a worthwhile experience whilst it lasted. I'm not going to pretend to anybody that I would happily sack off Uni and live the rest of my life like this; cramming my time with non-essential essential appointments at the gym, the pub and part-time work. I've loved the experiences I've gained, and I consider myself lucky with the way that things have panned out. The straightest path isn't always the surest.