There's something very unnerving when you first see the email in your inbox. The sudden breathlessness, the tentative thrill of adrenaline; you force yourself not to become overexcited, to make the imminent rejection any more upsetting than necessary.
Anybody who has had an offer or rejection from Track will know exactly what I mean - the email is unambiguous with it's 'something has changed' message. Obviously, checking straight away is irresistable.
I was part-way through tucking into my cheese-n-crackers lunch at school when I opened up Track. And this is what I found:
Subsequently, I burst into tears. Happy tears of course, with a slightly muffled 'I've just got into University' for the benefit of the other LSAs in our staff room. I'm pleased for myself, despite the news not really having sunk in yet. To me this feels like 18 months worth of stress and hard work and real desperation has paid off. I suppose there's also the slightly ego-stroking idea that somebody, somewhere thinks that I have real promise to be a doctor and let loose on patients. Right now, I'm still mostly awe-struck. I'm going to University. I'm leaving home. I'm going to have to be all student-y and eat beans on toast and complain about being poor and get drunk on White Lightening. Maybe I'll buy a bicycle.
Everybody has been impossibly pleased for me, which is weird when you consider how normal getting a Uni offer is to most people. Anyway, I don't have to compare myself to anybody else anymore; I think most people that know me recognise how hard I've worked and how difficult this whole thing has been. 48 people 'like' the fact that I'm going to be a doctor; make of that what you will.
Right now, I'm more excited for my Offer Day Visit on Friday - a proper opportunity to look around and get a feel for what it could be like to live in Southampton. I'm excited to speak to the medical students, look around the hospital and obvs check out my fellow First Year students. From past experience, I know that as a soon as I visit the place in person I'll be completely in love with it and desperate to live there... I'm so easily swung.
Of course, the boring, rational part of me is saying not to get too hooked on Soton - what if Cardiff come back with a 'yes'? The idea of having a ranking of favourites has completely gone out of the window - like a drunken Bushwhackers-visitor I'm happy to be fickle and go off with whoever should choose me. I'm sure I'd love Soton. I'm sure I'd love Cardiff. I'm sure I'll love anywhere with students halls and the chance to be a doctor. Well, in six years time, anyway and with £100, 000 debt.
Uni people might notice my offer is listed as 'Conditional', despite having my grades already. This is because my place is conditional on passing the health screening and CRB check. So as long as I haven't lied about my grades, committed a crime or caught some life-threatening blood disease I should be A-OK.
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