Nightmares.

Both of my latest blogs have began with words to the effect of 'I'm really sorry for my lack of updates...', and again, I am really sorry.

It's a very odd time for this blog (and me), mostly because my days are so unstructured right now. Although I'm not going to university in September, these 'summer holidays' are still a nerve-wracking 'make or break' time for me; the outcomes of my UKCAT and exam results will be really pivotal to how smoothly this next year runs.

Despite the lack of structure, I try to keep busy from day to day. I've had a few days training at the Ridgeway School and I've had training for my summer job with the Council. But it's hardly enough to write a blog about. I've completed one of four scheduled shifts at the Chalet School. I promise to write something witty and anecdotal at the end of the summer.

August is a very odd in-between month for me/most college leavers and personally I can't wait for September. It's also pretty stressful, with three really key events going on.

Firstly, my UKCAT. I blogged and blogged about it last month and I finally sat it on August 3rd. 'How did you do?' was the obvious response. Well, better and worse. Which is a politicians answer to something as discriminative as a test. If you don't remember, the UKCAT is scored out of four sections. My overall score was lower than last year (2820 down from last year's 2890) and therefore my average was lower at 705, compared to 722.5. Although I was disappointed, an average of over 700 is still respectable. Predictably, in three out of four sections I scored more poorly (Verbal, Quanititative and Decision Analysis).

Although this sounds negative, my scores this year were more even compared to last year's 'spiky cognitive profile'. After Tom's advice in an earlier blog, I've looked more closely at how different universities use the UKCAT score. Some, like Hull and York Medical School look at the overall score, whereas other such as Edinburgh (or the old system at Leicester) focus on the lowest sectional score. Therefore, a more even cognitive profile is beneficial as my 'lowest' has improved from 600 to 670. Essentially, although I would've liked to better my score, I'm still pleased as it's still a respectable result.

Secondly, I've been cracking on with my Personal Statement; the bane of most applicants' life. I struggled enough to fit everything into 4000 characters last year, so this year (with an extra years' worth of experiences, insights and achievements) it's extra hard, plus I have to describe my  gap year plans before I've even started my job. Currently, I'm on around 4,500 characters, with no description of any 'personal achievements' e.g. Student Union, this blog, peer mentoring, Villiers Park, my Extended Project, signalong training, part-time work, MedSim/MedLink/ATOM, volunteering at college, nominations for awards...

Thirdly, I have had my second 'Results Day' nightmare in two days. In last night's, I receive A*AAC and the admissions officers tell me it isn't enough to be accepted. (However, in the dream I receive the C in Maths; which is impossible due to the way my previous marks average out, which cheered me up a bit this morning). There's not a great deal more to say on the matter; I think I'll get AAAA, I would love A*AAA (unlikely) and AAAB would lead to tears, but I think I could scrape by.