The O Word.

Overworked, overstressed, underpaid.

Well, most of that is my own fault... Currently I'm still working three jobs, totalling around 45 hours per week. Obviously, the tax is a bitch. And to be honest, nothing can be as stressful as January/February - realising I'd failed to get in to Uni and that my A Levels were sapping all the motivation and spirit I'd started with. If anything, I'm in a fantastically rare stress-free situation right now. 

As well as Homebase and working for the council (Sessional worker, swimming with special needs children/teenagers) I work at a secondary school as a 'Learning Support Assistant' (read: Teacher's Lapdog).

But I dress FAR better.

I also hold an additional role as 'ASD Coordinator', this means looking out for the autistic students within school and keeping in contact with home (we have an unusually high ASD cohort).

So far, I've really enjoyed my work within school: it's rewarding, interesting, stimulating and the Learning Support department have been really great at helping us 'newbies' settle in. But that doesn't mean I'm not pleased to see half term...

It's so funny to be back in a school, back watching lessons - an hour for a lesson goes so fast! I love watching the children giving it large, being rude to the teacher, giggling about some joke - I remember doing it myself - and it's only now I'm older that I see how cringy they are. Honestly, rolling your eyes at a teacher and whooping when someone is told off is not cool.

I've also realised how much I definately do not want to be a teacher now, regardless of how hard they work and how many hours they put in (judging by my own career choice, noone can call me work shy!) it's just how disheartening it must be to stand in front of a group of people who really do not care what you have to say. I want to share my passion for science with people who are keen to hear, whether as a higher education professor or to patients' who require the information: I don't want to train and then spend my working hours controlling crowds of uncaring, unruly children. Of course, not all children are like this; I work with lower ability students and so tend to see more of the classes full of 'difficult' children who either can't, or won't, behave because they fail to see the point in school. Interestingly, many of these 'naughty' children who are quickly written off by teachers are actually very keen to learn - once you've given them the attention and time that they need, their behaviour improves. One little madam asked me this week if she could sit with me in Maths - she's gone from being a nightmare, to the most attentive, hard-working student in the room. Just because she gets it. It's not fair for me to criticise, but one does wonder if smaller classes would allow teachers' to give children the attention they need to work hard and achieve... perhaps this is how private schools, with notoriously tiny classes, churn out such impressive results (and students)?

And the other thing that breaks my heart: how these kids sit there and say 'schools crap anyway, what's the point?' The point is that those grades say something about you for a long time, they'll dictate the types of jobs you can start off with and whether you can pursue a career in something you're passionate about, rather than a job just to feed your family. Isn't hindsight a fabulous thing? If there's one thing that is certain about humans, it's our ability to look back and realise that others' generally do want the best for us.

I think I've picked the perfect gap year job - the hours are generous enough that I can enjoy my friends and wages, whilst the work is interesting enough to be worthwhile. I've also realised how quickly working in a professional environment forces you to grow up; this is the first time where I've been given a position of responsibility and treated as an equal by adults, rather than a child. There are things that need to be worked on; I still find it difficult to talk to teachers as colleagues, rather than 'Miss' or 'Sir' and I'm very aware of how much reassurance I need, by asking questions and checking that I'm doing okay. However, I really hope that by the end of the year I can feel confident in the roles that I hold, I can reflect back on all the positive and character-building experiences I've had and I should have a respectable amount of money saved up for Freshers' Week. Roll on Xmas break...